30 May 2017
The 9 Elements of a Sexually Empowered Life
From Amy Jo Goddard
Amy Jo Goddard taught Turning Up and Turning On Your On Fire Sexuality at the 2016 Herbal Conference. Here are some of her insightful suggestions for sexual healing and empowerment.
Element 1. VOICE
Excavate & Rewrite Your Sexual Story
You have an internal and external sexual voice. Rewriting your sexual story means looking clearly at your sexual experiences – the painful ones as well as the exciting and pleasurable ones. Examining the beliefs you carry around your sexuality, what it means to be a sexual person and the messages that you may have internalized without realizing it helps you to reorganize your beliefs about sexuality so you can claim your true voice. When you work on this step, you give yourself the gift of releasing the parts of it that no longer serve you or do not embody the sexual person you are becoming.
Element 2. RELEASE
Make Space for the Sexual Self You’ve Been Waiting For
There are many things that get in the way of you having the sexuality you truly want. This element is about making room so your true sexual self can come in. As you identify beliefs about who you need to be, your sexual shame, guilt and trauma, and the many other perspectives that have blocked your own sexual magnificence and expression, you can release what you do not need and move into your ideal sexual self.
Element 3. EMOTION
Show Up as Emotionally Powerful
Becoming a fully functioning sexual adult requires emotional skills. This means examining your people pleasing tendencies and the things that take you away from your true self, understanding your feelings about sex, identifying the defenses and patterns that keep you stuck, and looking at how you are creating emotional and sexual boundaries for yourself. Break free of your damaging emotional patterns and learn to express and maintain healthy boundaries that support you to have what you want and avoid what you don't so you come into a place of fully authentic emotional expression that does not harm yourself or others.
Element 4. BODY
Radically Accept Your Body
Everyone has issues with the body, yet our body is the primary vehicle of our sexuality and sexual expression. It is so important to break your patterns of body abuse and learn to radically accept your body regardless of age, size, color or imperfections with grace and gratitude so you can begin to enjoy your body in ways you didn't know, or forgot you could. When you radically accept your body, you learn to take greater pleasure in yourself, enjoy richer sensuality, and buildyour confidence and sexual-self esteem.
Element 5. DESIRE
Activate Desire & Create a Sexual Practice
Desire is a core part of sexual self-actualization. As you explore your sexual desires, needs and fantasies and taking steps to make some of your fantasies real if you choose, you open up possibilities in sex and relationships. Understanding your desire, and bringing it out when it has gone dormant is a key to fulfillment. Learn to increase your desire by daily attention to your sexuality -- energy flows where attention goes. This is about making sexuality a priority EVERY DAY so that it stops being something that gets put off, procrastinated or that falls to the bottom of the "to-do list".
Element 6. PERMISSION
Give Yourself Permission to Develop Your REAL Erotic Authenticity
We all need permission for our sexuality and self-expression. It’s time to stop holding back and go for the things we really want. You’ve got to assess how you are best loved, and communicate your needs for giving and receiving love. It's important to examine how power shows up for you most authentically in sex and relationships and what you want to incorporate in your erotic terrain. Ultimately, you will come into deep alignment with your sexual nature as you give yourself permission to develop your authentic language for flirtation, touch, connection, sex, power, and expression of your needs.
Element 7. PLAY
Remember How to Play & Develop Sexual Skills
Play is an essential part of a sexually vibrant life. Many adults need to relearn how to play, let loose and be creative when it comes to their sexuality. Through play we develop skills, which help to make sex better. What's in your sexual repertoire? What sexual skills have you mastered and which ones do you know need work? When you identify, improve and expand your sexual repertoire through play and skills, you can start having the best sex of your life and the quality relationships you want. Not to mention, a lot more fun.
Element 8. HOME
Build Sexual Confidence & Come Home to YOU
Come home beautiful! Learn how to come home to yourself and stop leaving yourself in relationships so you are more authentic, radically self-reliant, and able to meet your own needs. When you fully love and embrace all of who you are, you draw to yourself the relationships that honor that person and you live a fully expressed and intentional life. You build your sexual and overall confidence and that makes you into a fantastic sexual partner.
Element 9. FIRE
Use Your Dynamic Sexual Energy to Live Vibrantly
I work with my clients to keep their core sexual energy fed, and teach them to nurture that energy so they have more pleasure and joy in life. Your inner fire is the energy that fuels your life and makes it more juicy and alive. There are ways of connecting more deeply to your body and deepening your self-intimacy so you can express your vibrancy in a powerful way. When you are tuned into your inner fire and guided by that light, you are unstoppable. Learn to build that energy and fill your inner well.